2019 update: Welcome to Jacksonville, Nick Foles! We’re so proud to have you wear number 7 for the Jags. Here’s a reprint of the post I wrote about you after your Super Bowl victory. You’re an inspiration. Nick Foles is the man of the hour. A second string quarterback who took down the best quarterback …
Let’s face it; after you’ve been job searching for a while, your confidence takes a beating. You may feel invisible; especially if your job search is mostly online, you may feel like no one knows you’re there. It may be tempting to go for comfort over style when you do venture out. After all, who cares what you wear to the grocery store, right?
If you feel a little groggy as you’re reading this, Dr. Michael Breus, who bills himself as “The Sleep Doctor,” feels your pain. His Los Angeles-based clinical psychology practice is dedicated to helping people understand their chronotypes and learn to manage them better. Your chronotype is your biological predisposition to be a morning person, an evening person, or somewhere in between.
“A child comes to think of himself as the personality he gets recognition for or, in other words, as the set of patterns of action and habits of thought that get him out of childhood in one piece. That set, raised to adulthood, is what we are calling the calculating self.”
Psychologists define rumination as “the focused attention on the symptoms of one’s distress, and on its possible causes and consequences, as opposed to its solutions.” Farmers define rumination (by their cows) as “to chew again what has been chewed slightly and swallowed.” Either way, it’s an unappetizing way to spend your evening.
(This post is one in a series based on Never Split the Difference; Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It by Chris Voss with writer Tahl Raz. Voss has 24 years of FBI experience and was the former FBI Lead International Kidnapping Negotiator. He now runs a practice that trains individuals, corporations and law enforcement …
Chris Voss says understanding the person across the table is as important as having great negotiation skills.
Voss believes if you can learn skills that make it more likely for you to succeed, you’ll be able to think of negotiation as just another process. You can let go of the negative emotions holding you back from achieving your goals.
It’s the other F word: failure. We know intellectually that we learn more from our mistakes than from our successes, but each failure still feels like a kick in the gut.
Most of our struggles come from the way we perceive the situation – our framework of assumptions. “Draw a different frame around the same set of circumstances and new pathways come into view.”